Wednesday, December 28, 2005
zai yi ci yong you
wo xiang nian qu nian de dong tian
xia zhe xue de na yi ye
ni gei de wen rou
jin wo de shuang shou
wen nuan zheng ge han dong
shi qu le ceng jing de yong you
zai ni li kai yi hou
dai zou le xiao rong
zhi liu xia ji mo
wang le xing fu shi shen me
mei you ni de ye te bie de qi hei
zhi neng bi shang shuang yan qu gan jue
mei you wo de ye shui zai ni shen bian
dai ti le na ge cong qian
shi qu le ceng jing de yong you
zai ni li kai yi hou
dai zou le xiao rong
zhi liu xia ji mo
wang le xing fu shi shen me
mei you ni de ye te bie de qi hei
zhi neng bi shang shuang yan qu gan jue
mei you wo de ye shui zai ni shen bian
dai ti le na ge cong qian
neng bu neng zai ting yi ci ni shuo ai wo
hui dao hai zai ni huai li de shi hou
neng bu neng rang wo zai yi ci yong you
ceng shu yu wo de wen rou
neng bu neng rang wo zai yi ci yong you
ceng shu yu wo de wen rou
this song....to me it was very normal....didnt think i will like it....till about an hr plus ago....
was watching "Reaching for The Stars"...S.H.E show...and Chen Kai died in Hebe's arms.....she cried and this song was playing....and subsequently...she became super sad coz ultimately...she still loved Chen Kai though she acted like she didnt.......
i just wanted to cry...then later....she kept thinking of the past and all....and when i went back to my room....my tears were already flowing....i locked myself up and listened to this song....till now.....uhm...8.50pm....tears still flowing....
this song? or the fact i saw that touching scene?
not really...the scene 15%...song 20%....mainly is myself....
memories flood back again....i cannot stop it....i tried to forget....tried to hate....tried to avoid....tried to ignore....tried to walk on.....but i think i cant....the ring? still on my finger....many people ask why....im stumped too....habit? fashion? memory? i dunno.....everything oso dunno....
Jade did some "fortune-telling" with me and she said I have a big heart....many issues i forgive easily....
ive forgiven u.....i just cant forgive myself.....i want back....dunno lar....but its telling me hard to be back....hard....walls.....barriers.....glass mirrors.....will it be the same? pointless to say all these especially when u are ready....u will just think im weak....
i am....but ive grown stronger outside....inside i dunno....why blog when i know u read? not purposely for u....but i just need to let is all out.....yar....
nights like this...i hate it...absolutely hate it......pain piles up....scars multiply....
i think the only way to stop is to stop itself......
the going out...
the return...
the waiting...
the ignorance...
the anger...
the sadness...
the break...
the sourness...
the fights...
the misunderstandings...
the nights out...
the chalet...
the decoration-renovation...
the sweet words...
the shoppings...
the figurines...
the swimming...
the tanning...
the warmth...
the kisses...
the hugs...
the holding...
the drawings...
the park...
.
.
.
be at peace and patient....time is needed for everything....
yar...
no more new...no more moving on....just staying here....
thinking...thinking........and waiting till i got the strength to move on.....
i just wanna say im sorry
the facts of life....
- 12/28/2005 08:17:00 PM